Divorce quotes

I had a really good childhood up until I was nine, then a classic case of divorce really affected me. Kurt Cobain

Mom hates dad, Dad hates mom, it all makes you feel so sad. Kurt Cobain

My parent's divorce and hard times at school, all those things combined to mold me, to make me grow up quicker. And it gave me the drive to pursue my dreams that I wouldn't necessarily have had otherwise. Christina Aguilera

Divorce is most likely to wreak havoc when spouses declare war on each other and draft their kids. Constance Ahrons

Children must be considered in a divorce -- considered valuable pawns in the nasty legal and financial contest that is about to ensue. P. J. O'Rourke

Love is a feeling, marriage is a contract, and relationships are work. Lori Gordon

Parents - 4 Divorce Don'ts When Telling the Kids!

Divorce and children By Rosalind P. Sedacca

Preparing to break the news to your kids that you're divorcing their other parent? Feeling insecure about how to broach the subject? Wondering how much to share? How your children will react? How to handle their questions? How to deal with your special circumstances? What the experts suggest?

Well you're not alone.

Talking about divorce to your children is tough. You don't want to make mistakes you will regret, especially in terms of the effects of divorce on children.

There are many common mistakes parents make at this time. Learn four of the most important ones so you can avoid them.

Pressuring children to make choices. Most kids feel torn when asked to choose between their parents. Don't put them in that position.
Neglecting to tell your kids that they are not at fault. Don't assume your children understand that they are victims in your divorce. Remind them frequently that they bare no blame in any way related to your divorce - even and especially if you are fighting with their other parent about them.
Sharing information only adults should be aware of. Parents often do this to bond with their children or try to win them over. It creates a burden that children shouldn't have to bare. Talk to adults about adult issues.
Using your children as spies. Don't ask and expect your kids to tell you secrets about their other parent's life and home. It makes them feel uncomfortable and puts enormous pressure on them. They'll resent you for it.

Fortunately you can reach out to many different professionals to help you if you're not positive about how best to approach your children. Speak to a divorce mediator or see a therapist who specializes in this subject. Find an attorney who practices Collaborative Law which will result in more positive, cooperative outcomes. Seek the advice of parenting coaches, school counselors, clergy and other professionals. Don't forget the many valuable books and articles on this topic.

Whatever you do, prepare yourself in advance when talking to your children. Be aware of the impact of your words on their innocent psyches. Avoid the mistakes we have discussed. Think before you leap and give your family a sound foundation on which to face the changes ahead with security, compassion and love.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Recognized as The Voice of Child-Centered Divorce, Rosalind Sedacca, CCT is a divorce coach and author of the acclaimed book, How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook™ Guide to Preparing Your Children - with Love! She is also the founder of the Child-Centered Divorce Network where parents will find her free weekly ezine, blog, useful articles, valuable divorce resources, coaching and other services for creating a child-centered divorce. For more information visit: http://www.childcentereddivorce.com and http://www.howdoitellthekids.com.

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News Corner

1 March 2009 - New de-facto regulation became effective in Queensland, Australia: de-facto couples whose relationship broke following 1 March 2009 will be applying to Family Court for both property settlement and custody of the children.