Do I Need A Divorce Lawyer?

By Margaret Storm, MyDivorce.com.au

If you are thinking about divorce or are separated from your former partner and want to make it legal, the first advice from most people will be, "You need to get a divorce lawyer" or 'You should get legal advice".

This is what I was told times and again when I separated from my ex-partner. It's like a mantra that you will hear any time you want to find out what you need to do in order to get legally divorced in Australia.

From my experience and experience of many other people that I know, this is the mantra that will ruin your divorce, if you follow it without getting information how to deal with your divorce first, before getting divorce lawyer. Because once you've met with a lawyer, they will tell you that you need to engage their services to get legal advice. And no lawyer will be able to answer your questions about divorce, the children's residence and support, and "How much can I get?"

And if you engage services of a lawyer, they will take you through the process to ensure you spend all your cash, plus more, on sorting out your situation. I may sound cynical, but read stories on the Internet and ask your peers, what is their experience? They will tell you that in a divorce process, there are always losers and winners: losers are the two people that are getting divorced and winners are their lawyers.

Still don't believe me? Another common joke is the notion that if you hire a divorce lawyer today, you will need to hire a bankruptcy lawyer in three years.

OK, so, what is the answer to the question: "Do I need a divorce lawyer?"

The answer to this question (surprisingly - after all you've just read above) is: "YES!"

Yes, you need a divorce lawyer. Certainly. 

However, the most important thing you need to know is when should you hire a divorce lawyer.

And I would say, by no means should you hire a divorce lawyer before you learn all the details of how to get divorced and what this process entails for you. Only after you know all this information, and follow all the steps of preparing for divorce, and sorting out your own affairs yourself - only then should you consider hiring a divorce lawyer.

Why?

Because most things your divorce lawyer will start doing for you once you hire them, you can do yourself without spending $450/hour. Your divorce lawyer cannot sort out the things for you! You will learn it after spending $15,000-$30,000 of your hard-earned cash. 

All your divorce lawyer is going to do, is to take you through the process and you are going to pay. So it makes perfect sense to learn how the divorce process works and do as much as you can without the lawyers, and only hire them to do the things you cannot do yourself (which is not much).

The second reason why you should not hire a divorce lawyer before you learn the process, is that this will complicate the process for you. Once you hire a lawyer, your ex-spouse is likely to hire a lawyer, and when there are two lawyers, your divorce is going to get stuck until you spend all your cash. In addition, your relationship with your spouse will deteriorate to the level where you won't be able to see eye to eye, your kids will suffer and you will feel miserable and chattered. 

Do you really want it to happen to you? 

If not, wait to hire a divorce lawyer until you learn the whole process - but don't delay, start today and you will be miles ahead in a couple of weeks, as compared to setting up an appointment with a divorce lawyer.

What you need to know:

1. List your assets and liabilities - what do you own and how much do you owe; what is the value of all items you own;
2. In Australia, parents have equal rights to have a meaningful relationship with their children and care for their children;
3. Whatever arrangement you have with your ex-spouse when you separate, the Court is unlikely to change it;
4. Possession is 9/10 of the law;
5. What is spent is spent - you are unlikely to recover the money your ex-spouse spent or taken;
6. Court process takes years - most couples settle their affairs out of the Court;
7. Your lawyer cannot "make" your spouse do something or stop doing something, only the Court can, and Court process takes years (see p.6);
8. After spending tons of money on lawyers, you and your ex-spouse are likely to agree between yourselves, without lawyers, on what is going to happen with your assets and children's residence, and only have your lawyers to word your agreement in legal terms;
9. Your assets are going to decrease in value and at the end, there will be less to share;
10. You will spend all your available cash and get in debt to pay your legal bills, and if you do not have lots of assets, this can mean your home will be sold and money given to the lawyers.

I am not trying to scare you; I am trying to warn you. I've been there, done that. Other people been there, done that. Simply put, don't hire a lawyer until you know what he or she will be doing for you, step-by-step, or you will end up broke and angry.

According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, legal services generate $18 billion a year in income, contributing $11 billion to the Australian economy. You don't need to be another donor to those $11 billion, donating your wealth to the benefit of the state. Keep your money, your sanity, your relationship with your children and your future prosperity for yourself. Learn the ropes. Start now.

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Disclaimer: This article is for informational and entertainment purposes only, and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject matter.

1 March 2009 - New de-facto regulation became effective in Queensland, Australia: de-facto couples whose relationship broke following 1 March 2009 will be applying to Family Court for both property settlement and custody of the children.